It's just another 6 letter word

How do you deal with stress?

It's a common question.  You get asked this question in a myriad of settings.  It's common in a job interview, in a meeting with your boss about managing touch situations, your friends ask you this when they are consumed with jealousy because you always just seem to blissfully out of the situation.

However, the answer is not so common.  Depending on who you ask and when you ask, the answer could be one of a million things.  My answer has certainly changed over the years... and thankfully it's changed for the better.  I used to deal with stress by breaking out into hives around 11PM at night.  I first experienced this in elementary school (really, what was so stressful back then?).  I was visiting my grandma in Arkansas and my flight back to the DFW area was cancelled on a Sunday evening.  That would have put me back there Monday morning and GOD FORBID I be late to 5th grade class.

God forbid.

The next few times were throughout high school and college and usually a result of something pretty big being out of my control, much like my flying situation of 5th grade.  Once I graduated from college and took on my first job, I learned to deal with stress in different ways.  Mainly I learned to not let it get the best of me and send me home looking like I've had a serious allergic reaction to something.

As the years have passed, I've noticed that stress hasn't been a problem for me... like... at all.  Something someone mentioned to me this morning made me think about this.  Where has the stress gone?  Did someone take it?  Did it go away?  Why don't I notice it anymore?

Now, don't get my wrong, there are days that are completely off the charts with crazy and I'm left exhausted by 4PM, but I'm not stressed.  Even when it seems like the 1800 people around me are going to revolt at any time because they didn't line up early enough to get a seat to see Elie Weisel, I'm not stressed.  What in the heck happened?

I've been called "the eye of the storm" by a few people at work.  I can't tell you how I do it.  I can't give you any breathing exercises to control the stress.  Heck, I can't even promise you that going home and watching trash tv at the end of the day will help control the stress.

I can only tell you that it doesn't bother me at work like it used to.

Now, when I'm in the passenger seat of some people's car, the stress level is through the roof.  GIVE ME THE WHEEL, people, GIVE ME THE WHEEL.

And I refuse to say this is a control issue :)

And so they begin

It's been months since I've woke up from tornado nightmares during the night. In fact, it's safe to say that it's been since before my mom passed away. The dreams I used to have weren't scary, just stressful, very very stressful. I wake from them feeling lost, without a safe place to hide, and disoriented.

The break from those dreams ended last night. I woke in the early hours of morning with my mind racing. I couldn't tell if I was upset from the nightmare or because I had the nightmare. It's funny when I think about the actual dream, but I can safely say that I wasn't laughing about it at 4AM in the morning as I lie there, on my pillow, unable to drift back off to sleep.

Interestingly enough, today's feelings reflected those in the dream almost to a "T". I'm left at the end of the day worried, apprehensive, and way more stressed about the next month than I have been leading up to today. Work is going to be a bear. I'll just leave it at that.

I've spent the evening trying to think of something to do. Yes, the entire evening has been spent pacing the house, pulling out projects, deciding not to do the project and putting back the project. In an attempt to de-stress and relax I'm left frustrated that I have nothing to do. I absolutely hate when I do this to myself.

I decided to sit down and stop forcing myself to find a relaxing activities. Instead of doing something creative this evening, I've spent minutes upon minutes watching old Elton John videos on YouTube. I stumbled upon a Heart cover of this (Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters has always been one of my faves of his):



I really like it so I thought I'd share.

Maybe I'll go dust off the piano and play a bit before bed. Tomorrow I'll start the day off with a 5K walk in the name of colon cancer and perhaps will clear my mind a bit.