The State of Things

I'd like to just start this post out by pointing out the lovelies above. Have you ever seen such a lovely, colorful and fresh pile of wool in your life? I can't stop peeking into my fiber room to make sure this scene is still just as lovely as picture above.

I've had the house to myself since Wednesday. With the thought of having full control of the house for a few days came big plans to clean, put away, organize, dye wool, spin yarn, cook gourmet meals with seafood, watch the rest of Firefly, watch other things that the Sweet Boy isn't in love with, sleep in, and freshen this place up.

It is now Sunday afternoon and I've only managed to do the following - watch Firefly, dye wool, sleep in... and yeah, that's it. I am in the process of putting away piles of stuff and dusting so in another hour or so, I can add that to the list. Oh, and I opened the windows on the sunny side of the house. While it's a bit brisk outside, it is refreshing to get some fresh air in this place.

My biggest accomplishment today, and the reason I came here to blog, is the emptying of the last two boxes that have been hanging around since I moved here (in August of 2008). These boxes contained things that I wanted to put out, so they didn't belong in the basement. However, the things I wanted to put out weren't exactly important enough to uncover quickly. So they sat, they were moved around, they were hidden under a bed, they were pulled out, they were put back, and most importantly, they were ignored.

But I shall ignore them no more. They have been unpacked, books have been put away, pictures hung, and the boxes broken down. I feel like this might be my greatest accomplishment in a long time. I feel better knowing those boxes are no more. They were lurking and taunting me every time I laid eyes on them. You see, I've been a fairly neat and organized person since I was about 15. Clothes get put away as soon as I wash them, piles don't exist, and dishes always get cleaned. Well, that was the case until a few months ago.

Since August, things have piled up a bit. I've lost the drive to keep a neat and tidy space. I've not been interested in filing important papers. I've just been happy sitting in a state of equilibrium. All I can blame it on is the loss of my mom. While I haven't struggled with depression after that loss (trust me, I dealt with the grief for almost a year while watching my strong, independent mom rely on her children to take care of her), I have felt a bit apathetic towards many things. We all deal with things differently and I've dealt with it by being a bit messy. Maybe that's why going through the piles today has felt so good. In a way, I'm dealing with that loss. Perhaps Mom's been lurking, unseen, making me feel a bit guilty, albeit in a subtle way, about the messes. That would be just like her. She wasn't keen on messes.

Hopefully she doesn't go look at my flower garden, she'd be mortified. We'll discuss that later.