2.02.2010

Less than a rant

My sister pointed me to a blog post about cancer and being happy earlier today (well, maybe not exactly like that, but that's what I took away from it). Those of you who have been following my blog any time in the past year and a half know that cancer hit very close to home in my world. It struck all to close to the world of a friend of mine just recently as well. Cancer is a bastard like that.

This blog post mentioned keeping a journal of happy things. We're all too quick to blog a rant, or about a complaint, or to stand on our soapbox because you can catch people's attention with that. Wouldn't you rather hear about my war with the local Chili's and the HORRIBLE service I receive every time I go there than a cute bunny I saw on my afternoon walk? Maybe. But who's to say you wouldn't want to hear about the way the breeze this morning smelled of a crisp, clean winters morning taking me back to a day on the side of a mountain in the Tetons when I was only 8 years old. That's pretty nice to read about as well, right? One of those topics leaves me simmering and one leaves me wistful and full of life.

Wouldn't we all rather be wistful and full of life (if you have to think about it, go eat some ice cream, take a bath and come back and read this again).

When I think back on the past year and a half, I come up with a lot of ugly, bad, sad, upsetting things. I think back on Christmas 2008 - my last Christmas with my mom. That is a bad thing. My 28th birthday - my last birthday with my mom. That is a bad thing. Last spring when we walked around my mom's yard to look at the daffodils - that was the last time that happened with my mom. That is a bad thing. Initially it is hard to come out of that thought with happy. However, there are hundreds, no, thousands of happy things that have come from the sad. There was the excitement I felt when my mom first looked to her left after her surgery in October 2008 (indicating the lack of left neglect). There was my drive out to her house on Christmas Eve when just a few months prior, one doctor didn't give us until Christmas. Those were happy moments. True, if the situation didn't involve cancer, it would have been happier, but the situation did involve it, so I'll find the happy where I can.

Why do I have to dig so deep to find those? Maybe it's because those weren't the highlights of my blog posts. They weren't the things I posted about on Twitter or on Facebook. I'm not going to say my way communicating via the internet is going to change tomorrow, but I am going to attempt to document more of the happy.

And if this is your first time to visit my blog, I'm not a negative person (you can read through my postings to see that) but maybe adding a weekly "happy moment" wouldn't be a bad idea.

5 comments:

dallaggochie said...

It's interesting you post this. For some reason, when all I have to post is bad news and rants, I don't post for months. My Xanga was, for a long time, just a place I'd cross-post interesting articles and sayings, because otherwise it'd be a big rant.

Come to think of it, there isn't really even a theme you can attach to my blogs, other than "what's a-happenin' (as long as it isn't too depressing)".

But I will say this - when I was going through my divorce, I made the conscious effort to play "up" music when I was kicking myself and depressed. Great Big Sea was one such example. Even Antmusic came into play. Otherwise, I'd just fall into more of a funk. So maybe you will find that you have less to rant about if you do, in fact, start looking for more "up" moments. It's certainly worth a try.

idyll hands said...

Is that my brother posting?!? It took me a few minutes to figure that out. I'm really going to make an effort to find the "up" moments each day. However, here I am at the end of Wednesday and I've yet to come up with one. I'm sure it will come to me.

OH - I had lunch with Laurie. That's an "up" moment :)

Laurie Marshall said...

ANTMUSIC!!! Flashback to lots of happy moments...

You are right, there are definitely a lot of good things to blog about, and I think we would all benefit from more good vibes put out there in the universe.

Lunch with sisters are ALWAYS good things. :)

dallaggochie said...

Yeah - I told Laurie that I'm going to try to be better about keeping up with my sibs, now that I don't have lawschool taking my time 24/7. It'll be good to get into the habit, since I'll probably be out of the country for 18 - 24 months at a time soon.

DancingMooney ♥ said...

Aww sweetie, you so inspire me. Maybe you don't give yourself enough credit for being able to see the happy, because you always do!

I'm sure times are tough right now, because the most recent things are those of loosing your mom, but soon time will allow you to see the happy again, and remember her with joy, and all those things you did, you'll be happy to have, as memories and experiences, and knowing that they are parts of what make you who you are today.

*hugs*
♥ Janell