I also had a couple of doors close just before my trip that I was hoping upon hope would open up for me. Life is like that, opportunities present themselves and if they aren't the right ones, they end as quickly as they started. I know this but it still makes it hard to jump at the next door that presents itself. Lost opportunity results in increased hesitation - I'm pretty sure that's human nature.
I'll compare the situation to one spring evening back in 2002. The band sorority I was a member of (Tau Beta Sigma) was holding elections for officer placement. I so badly wanted to be the Membership VP and ran. I lost by 2 votes so I ran for the next office and the next. I'm not sure what came over me that evening, but I threw my name in every pot there was available.
Guess what. I didn't get a single office. I was devastated. Never in my 21 years had I not been elected for at least something when I ran for it. Actually, more than devastated, I was embarrassed. Why had a tried so hard for 5 different offices when I really only wanted the one? That was silly... it showed determination, yes, but it also made it look like it wasn't the office I cared about, but the position.
To make a long story short, a year later I was voted in as the Membership VP which was followed by and incredible year of revamping the rush process, getting some awesome new members on board, and just loving my last year in the organization. I suppose it worked out for the best.
I think of that story in almost everything I don't initially succeed at. But how much of that story holds me back? When a lost opportunity floats away, do I instinctively close my eyes to others just waiting in the background because I don't want to seem that I'll jump at every chance out there and embarrass myself again? I can't say that I do this, but I also can't say that I don't. I'd be fibbing if I didn't say that the thought of holding back completely scares me. It's not like me to hold back... I dearly hope that I am not.
And who cares if I try on 5 outfits and only pick one? It's the end result that counts, right?
Now for some less meaningful banter. There was an earthquake in Oklahoma on Saturday night and we felt/heard it loud and clear here in my part of the world. It was odd. It was unsettling. It wasn't a good thing to happen within 24 hours of watching Paranormal Activity 3 (which involves an earthquake... and a demon... I'll let you figure out my first reaction when the quake hit). It last for 30 seconds which was followed by lots of excited phone calls and texts mainly to talk about one thing "DID YOU FEEEEEEEEL IT??? COOL!". I think everyone talking about it on Facebook and Twitter that evening felt like they were 9 years old and finally tall enough to ride the big roller coaster. The adrenaline was high and the excitement non-stop. Imagine how we'd react if something major actually happened.
Humans are funny.