8.16.2011

A Mother's Intuition

Mother's Intuition is something you hear about a lot. Mom's worry when their babies are on airplanes, or are away on a road trip without an adult for the first time, or when they are doing something crazy like tearing their ACL on a ski trip many states away from home. Mom's just have a sense that something bad is brewing... but they also have that same sense when something good is on the horizon.

I don't think I ever fully valued my mother's intuition until it was gone. That thought alone is enough to evoke one of those gasping for air, deep throaty gulp kind of cries from deep within me. There are a lot of things I miss about her (okay, a million things and then some) but some things aren't things at all... rather, perks. When you don't have them it's like trying to reach for that sky you'll never touch or attempting to reach some goal that is beyond ridiculous.

I used to stand with one toe in the water in almost everything I did. If my mom seemed hesitant about my diving in, I would back up a bit. However, when she seemed excited about that pond before me, I'd jump right in, feet first. She was a good thermometer, so to say, about any decision in life, no matter how large or small. I don't think I realized how many times I checked the temperature through her actions/reactions until lately.

I have a strange feeling that life is going to throw some major decision making situations my way soon. My sister, who has taken on many of the maternal duties that every family requires (certain Christmas candies being made in December, sage advice giving, lunches during the work week to lighten the work burden, etc) has mentioned a few times that she feels something is changing for me... or something good is on the horizon... or something is brewing (I can't remember her words exactly). Whichever it is, it sounds good.

It also sounds like a mother's intuition.

Do I trust it like I trusted my mom's over and over again? Sure, my mother's intuition wasn't always right... at least, I didn't think it was until I was so far removed from the situation that it wasn't worth bringing up that she was right and who would need to bruise their own ego at that point anyways? Would trusting it lead me far away from my familiar path and if I find a new path, would it be worth forking off of the familiar one for?

Who knows... I suppose if we all had this intuition, life wouldn't be the exciting mystery that it is and we'd all be bored.

Very.

Very.

Bored.

Since I don't like boring, I'm going to go ahead and follow her enthusiasm for my unfamiliar path. I'd hate for her to be excited about it alone.

3 comments:

Laurie Marshall said...

I've been excited alone before. :-)

DancingMooney ♥ said...

Perhaps your sister has that same intuition that your mom has, and you can share that memory of her... something that still lives on in both of you. It'll be exciting to see what kinds of big things come your way soon... ;)

Christina said...

oh wow. beautiful, Erin! good things ARE in store for you soon - enjoy the ride! :)